Anyone who knows me knows that I hate being home alone. I have never been one of those people who loves having the house to themselves, especially at night. I get scared easily when I'm alone, I think I hear things and falling asleep is nearly impossible. However, tonight something changed.
I woke up early to an empty house so naturally I wanted to leave. I immediately got dressed and headed for the gym to pass the time along. When I got home I decided I would clean my house as though it had never been cleaned before. 3 hours later I was done and exhausted. I took a nap and woke up around 4 when I decided food would probably be a great idea. I cooked, showered and settled in for a night of movies and Carvel ice cream.
I decided on The Holiday (great movie by the way, if you haven't seen it I highly recommend it). Then shut off all the lights and lit candles for a cozy feel. After the movie ended I laid on my couch watching the credits roll. There was classical music playing in the background which brought me much comfort so I turned off the TV, put a classic music station on Pandora and watched the candle light dance against the walls. As I lay curled up on my couch fully embracing the moment I realized then that I was actually throughly enjoying myself.. It took me 23years to feel completely content and unafraid of anything while in a dark room lit merely by 3 candles and classical piano music filling my ears. Perhaps all the Carvel ice cream has gone to my head, but this night has been truly euphoric.
Usually, when I find myself enjoying something I always think of who I wish could be there with me to experience it. Not tonight though. Tonight I am happy to be making progress on this whole adult life thing by myself. Life is all about small steps and learning not to take things for granted. Although I may continue to complain that I hate being home alone, I hope to remember tonight and do it again. Even though moments that feel this relaxing and nice don't always happen the same way twice.... a girl can dream.
Sweet dreams xo
~LD
I woke up early to an empty house so naturally I wanted to leave. I immediately got dressed and headed for the gym to pass the time along. When I got home I decided I would clean my house as though it had never been cleaned before. 3 hours later I was done and exhausted. I took a nap and woke up around 4 when I decided food would probably be a great idea. I cooked, showered and settled in for a night of movies and Carvel ice cream.
I decided on The Holiday (great movie by the way, if you haven't seen it I highly recommend it). Then shut off all the lights and lit candles for a cozy feel. After the movie ended I laid on my couch watching the credits roll. There was classical music playing in the background which brought me much comfort so I turned off the TV, put a classic music station on Pandora and watched the candle light dance against the walls. As I lay curled up on my couch fully embracing the moment I realized then that I was actually throughly enjoying myself.. It took me 23years to feel completely content and unafraid of anything while in a dark room lit merely by 3 candles and classical piano music filling my ears. Perhaps all the Carvel ice cream has gone to my head, but this night has been truly euphoric.
Usually, when I find myself enjoying something I always think of who I wish could be there with me to experience it. Not tonight though. Tonight I am happy to be making progress on this whole adult life thing by myself. Life is all about small steps and learning not to take things for granted. Although I may continue to complain that I hate being home alone, I hope to remember tonight and do it again. Even though moments that feel this relaxing and nice don't always happen the same way twice.... a girl can dream.
Sweet dreams xo
~LD